WOW to TOWSON!
Towson University made me say, “WOW!” throughout the day today. The students desire and passion to create positive change was obvious from the start of our “Train the Trainer” session with the RAs (Resident Assistants) and the Peer Educators on campus. Everyone asked great questions and dived deeply into the discussion. You could tell this group of student LEADERS was going to help bring a large audience out to the evening “Can I Kiss You?” show.
Did you attend today’s programs? Get your FREE BOOK here in our store (and save $5 on the T-shirts). Next, share your response to the show by using our fun Audio Testimonial Program (click here). Then remember to sign-up for our Daily Giveaway on the right side of this page.
Right before the “Train the Trainer” session, we had an in-depth conversation with staff on being innovative and cutting-edge with teaching the many principles we discuss in the “Can I Kiss You?” program. We shared concepts using technology and HOW to approach sensitive issues with student populations.
At dinner, we discussed various views on certain kinds of educational/awareness events hosted on campuses. Next was the “Can I Kiss You?” program. As we approached the room about 30 minutes early, a long line had already gathered to get inside. Towson promoted getting FREE BOOKS & SHIRTS to the first 50 people. The promotion worked. The school was originally hoping to fill the room with 500 students. They easily topped their GOAL when additional chairs were needed and others ended up sitting on the floor to fit in the room. The energy was wonderful. A BIG THANK YOU to everyone throughout the day.
WATCH THEIR VIDEO BELOW!
Jacob, 18 yr old high school senior, speaks out
After watching the sexual assault and healthy dating general assembly at his high school titled “Can I Kiss You?“, 18 year old Jacob shares his thoughts. Often students dread attending programs on serious and sensitive topics such as sexual assault. Jacob reveals this concern early on and then shares what happened as the program advanced.
Did you attend the program? If so, share your FEEDBACK by leaving a comment here or use our FUN Audio Testimonial Program (where you leave a voicemail and YOUR voice is ten heard on our website for others to listen)! Click here to use Audio Testimonial.
Teenage Dating: 18 year old asks a question
Ron, a high school senior in South Dakota, is asking you the following question in the video. WHAT do you think Ron is referring to? After WATCHING the video, see the possible answers and then find out the TRUTH.
Loading ...Find out the answer by entering your name and email below. Hit SUBMIT and you’ll be forwarded to exactly what RON is referring to in the video.
College Students and Military Work Together
Tonight at South Dakota School of Mines was a great audience. We had a combination of college students and representatives from various military branches. The military professionals were attending as part of their annual SARC training. The “Can I Kiss You?” program counts as their training requirements and so individuals drove in from over 6 hours away.
The student turnout was fantastic for SD School of Mines. We had many student populations in attendance: athletics, Fraternities, and the general student population. The military and the college students blended perfectly together for an interactive, thought-provoking, and memorable session. Watch the commitment they took in the video below:
Sexual assault, alcohol & supporting survivors @ Wake Forest
WOW! Wake Forest University knows how to promote an educational event addressing sexual assault, intimacy, dating, and alcohol. Better yet, they know how to get RESULTS! Last night, over 1100 students (over 25% of their student body) attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program in Wait Chapel. The team on campus who was responsible for bringing me to speak was a DYNAMITE combination of talent, expertise, and passion. They worked diligently with several organizations and groups (Athletics, Greek Life, and the Student Center — all which showed up in big numbers).
As you scroll down through this blog posting, you will see video footage from the event. Join the Wake Forest students in making a commitment by signing the “Pledge for Action” here.
Did you attend the program at Wake Forest University?
If so, share your thoughts and feedback! Let us HEAR your voice by using our Audio Testimonial Program (click here). Another option is to share in our online forums.
Remember to INVITE all your family and friends to watch you in the below video!!
Tell us what YOU WANT on this site!
“The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” ~Ben Stein
With a new semester getting started or about to start in schools and universities, what have you DECIDED you really want for this year? What are you going to do to make that happen?
I will start off by sharing what we WANT to start providing you as a visitor to this site in 2010 and then ASK you what more YOU want from our site in 2010. Let’s make it happen! Here is our list of what we are beginning to create for you:
1. Each week, find inspiration and ideas from others around the world pertaining to real solutions to difficult conversations which often occur with teenagers, college students, and members of the military. Soon, you will find our “Question of the Week” answered by multiple people each week (could be YOU quoted in one or many of the Questions).
2. To be able to join our special Team Members section of this website where “How To” videos, articles, podcasts, and monthly tele-seminars with interviews of top experts, educators, activists, and positive role models will be available to you. You’ll be able actively participate in the tele-seminars (free for our Members and a reasonable fee for others). Starting in FEBRUARY!
3. To discover fantastic examples of role models featured here on the site (survivors, parents, activists, educators, professionals, celebrities making an impact, etc…).4. To GIVEAWAY more helpful resources and materials through our website!
What do YOU WANT from this site? WHAT would you like to learn more about? WHO would you like to learn from? Any technology you would like to see used more often? Do you want to help on our mission? Let us know. Answer all these questions by “Leaving a Comment” now.
Teenagers effected by parents’ stress
Is your family dealing with more stress than usual (unemployed parent, stress at work, tight family budget, etc…)? How is your stress being passed down to your teenagers? A recent Las Vegas Sun newspaper report titled More teenagers depressed, engaging in risky behavior shares a study saying how our country’s tough times are effecting today’s teenagers and their decision-making.
What are you doing in your home to discuss stress and/or potential depression? Do you try to hide it from your kids? Remember children are incredibly perceptive and pickup on much more than we adults often realize. Trying to hide the stress may be more damaging because you can be teaching your children how “NOT TO COMMUNICATE” – how to bury their emotions (like you appear to be doing to them). When you stress out, kids know and they usually directly feel it. How? Maybe you raise your voice at them more often, have less patience, or snap at them. When this is happening, you’re taking out your stress on them (often without realizing). They deserve better.
By talking with your teenagers openly about handling stress and/or potential signs of depression, you help create outlets and solutions for them. For instance, you can share how working out is a great stress relief for you as a parent. Let them know,
“If we get our work done around the house, it is easier for me to get a workout in. My workout helps me get rid of any stress I’m feeling which is great because then I am much less likely to stress out on all of you. I don’t like it when I put my stress on you. What stresses all of you? What do you do to help deal with the stress you may sometimes feel? How do you think other teenagers handle such stresses? What are good ways to handle stress and bad ways??“
Of course, you can and should incorporate a discussion on teen depression – help your teenagers understand depression is real and nothing to be ashamed of.
Share what you do to help the teenagers in your home deal with stress by “Leaving a Comment“
Pakistan and Women’s Rights . . . and the US
At the center of all our work is each person having equal rights in all existence. If one believes a partner is not an equal, the one is more likely to disregard their rights to consent, choice, respect, and dignity.
Join us in signing the following pledge for equality:
http://www.whiteribbon.org.pk/one-million/index.php
Often efforts for change are focused only within our own country. Today, we ask you to think of the females in Pakistan. Speak out in an effort to create change in our WORLD – beyond our country’s borders.
What borders do you see in the world? Do you see the world as ONE or as borders diving countries? I have been blessed to see some of our world’s most beautiful places and some of the most desperate of locations. In South Africa during 2007, we personally witnessed miles of shanty towns and then later in the same day found ourselves in the natural beauty of the Kruger National Park. When you sit there in awe, you realize how amazing Earth is. Then you meet the people of other countries and you realize how people are good everywhere. An amazing Earth filled with billions of good people. Why wouldn’t we take more accountability for helping our world as a whole? Start with signing the pledge for the women in Pakistan.
P.S. For those focused merely on our country alone, helping the rest of the world become a better place makes our country both safer and sounder in many ways!
Mike Domitrz and His Story
Why does Mike Domitrz, the Founder of The Date Safe Project, Inc., have such an intense passion and drive to:
* Dramatically improve society’s approach to healthy dating;
* Create a better understanding of how “consent” is obtained in intimacy;
* Reveal the keys to effective bystander intervention with alcohol and sexual activity; and
* Teach how to properly support survivors of sexual assault?
In 1989, Mike received a phone call informing him his sister had been raped. As he held the phone tightly to his ears, he simply could not believe what he was hearing. For two years, he struggled to deal with the rape and the effect it had on his life – both as the brother of a rape victim and as a man. He transferred colleges – so he could be close to home and his sister during the trial. Once back home with his family, Mike saw the pain, rage and sadness his parents, relatives, and family friends were also going through. The sexual assault of his sister had changed many people’s lives.
As months went by, Mike and his sister became even closer than before. While going to school during these challenging times, Mike noticed no one was addressing one of the most serious elements of sexual assault — a failure to obtain consent. The average person was NOT relating to the importance of needing to have permission before engaging in an intimate act with another person. Most individuals did not realize their current dating practices were based on standards of disrespect.
When it came to talking about the rape of his sister, no one knew what to say to him, his sister, or his family. Most people had never been given the skills needed to support a survivor of sexual assault or his/her family members. For the majority of people, talking about sexual assault was taboo.
Mike decided to make a difference. In 1990, Mike went to one of the few educators who spoke on sexual assault. The expert was surprised and impressed with Mike, a college student who was passionate about making a real difference on the issues surrounding sexual assault. He provided Mike with lots of information including myths, laws, stories, and interactive exercises. As Mike continued to research the issue of sexual assault and dating, he constantly heard people complaining that most sexual assault seminars, speakers, and experts were boring and depressing. Parents were saying, “My child would never do that“, but their kids were doing “that” and worse. Mike knew what needed to be done.
He started a “one person show” using a powerful tool, humor, to open people’s minds. Once people were laughing, they were much more likely to listen. With everyone’s attention glued to the program, Mike would show the devastation and trauma caused by sexual assault. The name of Mike’s program became “Can I Kiss You?” and has gone onto to be presented in schools, universities, communities, military installations, and at conferences throughout the United States. He has created a truly interactive and engaging program that inspires change in the lives of each audience member.
While Mike’s program is one of the most sought after educational presentations in North America today, the journey for Mike took time. Keep in mind he started this work during an era when schools were not openly discussing sexual assault. Mike had to know what he was talking about. While originally designing and producing the “Can I Kiss You?” show as a college student in 1991, Mike compiled extensive research from a diverse group of resources to insure his message was accurate, honest, and delivering healthy lessons. At first, he started speaking at elementary schools, middle schools, and a few high schools. From 1992-1993, he spoke in over 40 school systems in his region. Then, he began speaking on college campuses. While educators were praising his approach, most schools were still too afraid to bring a program discussing intimacy and sexual assault to their students. While society wasn’t ready, Mike was not going to give up.
Over the next decade, Mike worked as DJ and high school coach where he honed his skills in:
* Interactive education;
* Educating teenagers;
* Working with college students; and
* Performing in front of big and small audiences
He was determined to work in any capacity he could in order to be an at-home Dad working on the mission. In 2002, a couple of educational experts saw Mike present his “Can I Kiss You?” program at a national conference and they were amazed he was not traveling the country full-time speaking. They began to tell everyone about his work and soon he was being sought out by organizations around the country.
Mike’s desire was to leave an impact much longer lasting than any one speaker could create. In 2003, he founded The Date Safe Project, Inc. – an organization dedicated to leaving a positive impact on the many issues surrounding sexual assault and healthy intimacy. Rita was the first professional to join Mike as part of the DSP team and is still the person who takes care of you when you call today. Since 2003, The Date Safe Project, Inc. has grown to 5 team members – helping organizations and individuals throughout North America. We are honored to be one of the leading organizations for creating educational materials on consent, respect, sexual assault, and supporting survivors. Schools, parents, students, community organizations, crisis centers, and the military constantly tell us they turn to The Date Safe Project, Inc. for realistic solutions to tough conversations.
For Mike, his work is based on his greatest inspiration – his sister. Her strength and courage inspired him to speak out at the age of 21 years old. Today, her inspiration has helped change many people’s lives around the world. His sister is the entire reason the book Voices of Courage was created (she is one of the survivors/contributing authors in the book). Mike wanted everyone to see the amazing strength inside of each sexual assault survivor. Nothing could accomplish that goal as powerfully as his sister and the other 11 survivors did when they agreed to share their stories in the book Voices of Courage. From the start, ALL profits from the book and audio CDs have been donated to organizations addressing sexual assault.
Today, Mike is grateful to be the father of 4 boys and married to his wife of over 15 years – all who support and believe in his calling. While being dedicated to the mission of The Date Safe Project, Inc., Mike has always stressed the importance of setting aside time for family – for both himself and the entire DSP team. For this reason, he limits how many events he speaks at each year.
For all the recognitions and awards he has received, Mike has always said, “My greatest blessing in life is my family. THEY are amazing.”
Martin Luther King Jr. and Haiti
Yesterday was our country’s day to honor Martin Luther King Jr. and his efforts to create change. The power of honoring Martin Luther King Jr. as we see the destruction in Haiti is important. In King’s spirit, do we care enough for others to speak out and create long-lasting change (in addition to the money we donate)? What have you learned about Haiti in the past week? How did more of us not know about their struggles previously or were we simply not listening? In honoring Martin Luther King Jr, what MORE have you learned about him this week? How are you taking the example of Martin Luther King Jr and applying your new understandings to help those in Haiti?
Educators (includes teachers, professors, PARENTS, mentors, etc…), what are you doing to TEACH your children about Haiti and our ability to help create positive change? Have you told them the story of Sunjay Gupta, a medical Dr. who is a reporter for CNN, taking over a make-shift hospital after all the Drs and nurses abandoned it due to fear of safety? Each day, have you shared one example of a survivor in Haiti who kept BELIEVING while stuck under rubble for days?
For the rest of this week, I commit to sharing with my children one powerful example of individuals in Haiti believing in others and one’s self. Lets not have pity for what they are going through. Instead, let us admire the strength, human compassion, and devotion to helping others! Will you join me in this pledge to share each day at least one example with your family and friends? Start by sharing your comments here by “Leaving a Comment.“
