Let someone know on Black Friday
“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” ~ Gertrude Stein (1874 – 1946)
On this hectic day for many of being “Black Friday” shopping, RUN QUICKLY to someone you need to say, “THANKS” to and tell them!
On Thanksgiving, thanks to YOU
“I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.“
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)
As today is Thanksgiving, THANKS to you and all the supporters who work to support our mission – “Asking First” + “Being a Friend” + “Opening a Door.”
Thanksgiving is almost here. Appreciation and Thanks!
“Feeling grateful to or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.” ~ Christiane Northrup, M.D.
As Thanksgiving is upon us here in the USA, what are you grateful for? Who do you appreciate? Share with all of us. Remind us of all the amazing THANKS we owe to others. 
Discover who WAS A FRIEND during the Richmond High School gang rape (sexual assault) of a 15 year old student
In the video below, discover a powerful element the media is not covering much in the Richmond High School gang rape (sexual assault) of a 15 year old student outside the Homecoming Dance. THEN, sign the THANK YOU page below the video.
Click here to say THANK YOU to Raul Rubio and Margarita Vargas!
Sexual assault professionals share and inspire
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 – 1962)
Professionally, how are you living life? How are you “reaching out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences”? When you face a challenge on your journey to making an impact, where do you look for new sources of inspiration? Do you look to authors, writers, books, and colleagues around the world to provoke thoughts you might not have on your own? For me, sharing with others and reading stirs new conceptual approaches within my mind. Those new approaches take me out of the norm and challenge me to rethink current practices we partake in. This evaluation process helps me personally and us as an organization to continually improve the resources we provide others (”Can I Kiss You?” program, posters, books, DVDs, shirts, and much more).
Professionally, how do you “taste experience to the utmost”? Are you stepping out of your “silo” (office, comfort zone) every day and meeting new people? Are you reaching across the table to the people who may be considered your opponent and then working to build a new alliance with those individuals? Those are the kind of moments which provide you “tasteful experiences” you never forget on a professional level. Best of all, doing so makes you effective in reaching more people and thus results in long lasting impact!
Are you using our online Forums to create relationships with other professionals from around the country – getting you out of your “silo”? The online forms here on our website have been created for you to nurture professional relationships which are centered around sharing and helping each other. You will see they are brand new and so they are WIDE OPEN for you to fill with your questions and ideas. You never know how one moment of sharing may change another professional’s life. As an example of passionate people sharing, we will be posting an exciting story in the coming weeks of students coming together at a conference in 1991 and 18 years later seeing the difference those same individuals are making across the country today.
Share with us the books which have stirred your thoughts and provided you inspiration!
Bystander Intervention and the Rape Case at Richmond High School in CA and the Beating in Southside Chicago
“To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.”
Confucius, Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC – 479 BC)
With all of the recent cases where teenagers stood by as another teenager was beaten to death and/or raped, how do you interpret Confucius’s quote above? The country and the media is becoming more outraged on a daily basis as they discover details from the rape outside Richmond High School in California and the Southside beating in Chicago which lead to the death of a teenager. WHY are students lacking the courage to step in and stop another person from doing wrong? Maybe the better question is:
Has society FAILED to teach our students WHY Bystander Intervention is essential AND failed to provide students with the skills to do so?
As we travel teaching “Bystander Intervention” through our “Be a Friend” approach, students constantly remind us THEY WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING! At first, they will say, “It is none of my business UNLESS it is someone I know.“ When you ask them, “Wouldn’t you want a stranger to help SOMEONE YOU KNOW if you were not there?” they always say, “Of Course.” When you reply, “Well, you are that stranger,” students always remark, “Good Point!”
Then students admit the reason they don’t intervene as a stranger is because they are AFRAID of the person they would be stopping from doing the wrong. We teach students this is what we call the DANGEROUS WARNING. The moment your brain tells you to be afraid of a person, you brain is telling you this person is DANGEROUS. If you know the person is dangerous, you know intervening is doing the RIGHT THING. To make it less scary, get 3 or 4 friends together and intervene as a group. Another option is to get HELP (an authority figure at some level who can make a difference). Most teenagers simply have never learned these basic intervention skills or been taught the importance of WHY they should intervene. After we’ve presented the “Can I Kiss You?” program in their schools and on their campuses, students share inspiring stories of how they began to “Be a Friend” at parties and specifically share how it saved a person from danger (they simply didn’t see the WHY previously and didn’t know HOW).
This week in news coverage, you are hearing a lot about the SNITCH TAG. Why would you care if the SNITCH TAG is put on you? People are going to dislike you and say mean things about you throughout your life. If you live by others standards and to make others like you, you will always be controlled by others opinions and you will live a paranoid life. When you step in and take positive actions, you can always look in the mirror and say, “No matter what anyone thinks of me right now, I can smile knowing I helped another person by doing the RIGHT thing!”
We have a saying here at The Date Safe Project, Inc:
“If I absolutely know what I’m doing is morally, ethically, and legally right, then I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me!“
In my work, every month I meet individuals who someone drugged to sexually assault. Friends were around and did nothing. Peers were around and did nothing. These stories have been covered by the media (”Beware of Date Rape Drugs on Spring Break”). The case will stay in the headlines for a week or so – then be forgotten soon after. Don’t let this issue be forgotten. The outrage needs to change into Positive Education providing students a long-term SOLUTION which saves lives – Bystander Intervention!! Take action today by teaching others the importance of bystander intervention and then give them the skills to do so. Contact your local schools and ask them what they are doing to teach realistic solutions to tough conversations on Bystander Intervention. Provide your schools and college campuses with resources they can bring in to help their student body. Make a difference!
Click here to say THANK YOU to Raul Rubio and Margarita Vargas!
Life is full of obstacle illusions
“Life is full of obstacle illusions.” ~ Grant Frazier
What obstacle illusions are stopping you in your current goals and/or projects? Often what we believe is an obstacle is simply something we’ve placed in the middle of our own course for success. Today, what obstacle will you realize is simply an illusion?
Often in the work of teaching healthy intimacy, consent, respect, and support of sexual assault survivors, people become overwhelmed with all the apparent “obstacles” in their way. Look again and see how many of those obstacles you are choosing to focus on and use as excuses for not trying something new or for not succeeding. What if those “obstacles” are actually challenges to help you create a better and more effective approach to getting your message across?
Share what this quote means to you in our “Leave a Comment” section where it says, “Speak Your Mind.”
“Can I Kiss You?” and Mike Domitrz raise funds for 871 survivors!
The Date Safe Project, Inc and Mike Domitrz were just honored to receive notice from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) that our auction of the “Can I Kiss You?” program (and Mike Domitrz providing 2 ext
ra presentations) was so successful that 871 more sexual assault survivors will now be able to receive support from RAINN!!
A big THANKS goes out to all the bidders for helping a great cause. You receive a copy of Voices of Courage: Inspiration from Survivors of Sexual Assault for making a bid to this auction. Everyone at RAINN and here at The Date Safe Project, Inc is grateful for your generosity!
Northwest Missouri State Makes a Statement
Northwest Missouri State University just made a powerful statement. Over 750 incoming students wanted to do a serious video to spread online. Please help them move this video through FaceBook, YouTube, and Twitter – any means you can think of. Here is the video:
St. Lawrence Leads the Way with Advocates
Tonight, I was at St. Lawrence University and every year they WOW me with their fantastic Advocates Program. If you work on a college campus and want to see a great example of student advocates in action, this is the campus to follow. Each year, over 30 students are trained to be sexual assault advocates. Just taking over the program a day ago is Chris Morran – who came from Lehigh University.
In the coming weeks, we are going to schedule an interview for Chris to share how they’ve built the program at St. Lawrence AND what they are doing to expand it!
As for the shows, it was HOT! Hot = great audiences who you know were going to make a difference AND HOT as in the temperature. The stage lights were hotter than normal. I didn’t get a long run in that day and so the show kept me in shape. Actually, I LOVE the theatre at St. Lawrence for its intimacy and its great tech staff who always make sure things are running smoothly.
A Big THANKS goes out to Amanda for bringing me back and to Chris for helping run a very successful event!!
Check out the pictures and video below. The videos are first and then you’ll see the pictures. ENJOY!
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