May I Kiss You? Reviews
Some books are just plain useful. And welcome.
If you have pre-teens or teenagers in your house or in your life, take a look at May I Kiss You?: A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness by Michael J. Domitrz.
This is a fresh, practical and strong-willed book about mutual respect and understanding. It tells young people how to express their affections in respectful and clear ways. It teaches them how to avoid the assumptions that lead to conflict and problems and it explains what sexual assault is.
Dan Hays in Statesman Journal — appeared on June 15, 2003
May I Kiss You? by Michael J. Domitrz is a sexuality, and awareness guide focusing on the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, intimacy, and above all, the importance of asking first. Stressing the importance of coming to a mutual understanding concerning the most private moments, and with a firm view of the problems of sexual assault and harassment, May I Kiss You? has the very highest recommendation for all — anyone of any age who seeks to pursue a romantic relationship — and should be readily available in every high-school, college, and community library in the country.
On the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, September 15, 2003 Reviewer: Midwest Book Review from Oregon, WI USA
Of all the elements of consent, “asking for permission” is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
Scott Hampton, Director, Ending the Violence, Dover, New Hampshire
Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner…He makes you think about the very basic “kiss” and how even that act demands permission.
Catherine Lovecchio, Director of Health & Wellness Education, Villanova University
The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized
Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault
A good common sense approach to creating respectful relationships and avoiding sexual assault, understanding its trauma, and helping a survivor. This book will be valuable for any young person who is thinking about what kind of relationship they want and how to insure that they are healthy.
- Alan Berkowitz, Independent Consultant for Sexual Assault Issues
Domitrz’s work is insightful, identifying the problems that can arise when men and women rely solely on body language, assumptions and interpretation to guide their actions.
- Youth Today (September Issue)
I really enjoy this book. I have recommended it to all of my friends. I would really like to help spread the importance of knowing dating, communication, respect, and Sexual Assault Awareness. I think this book will affect so many people in so many different ways. Everyone should read it!!!!!
- Brooke, A teenager from Milwaukee, WI
I LOVED the book, May I Kiss You? In fact, we teach a Healthy Relationship class in our local middle and high schools, and we have now added a whole presentation on consent. We had wanted to add that component which is why I found out about your book online. It was incredibly clear and helpful, taking my own understanding on quite a journey. Thank-you!!
- Meg Kuhner, Youth Coordinator, Battered Women’s Services & Shelter
Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner… He makes you think about the very basic ‘kiss’ and how even that act demands permission.
- Catherine Lovecchio, Health & Wellness Director, Villanova University
Of all the elements of consent, ‘asking for permission’ is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
- Scott Hampton, Director. Ending the Violence
May I Kiss You? is not only a must read for students but for every adult as well. The realities of dating and intimacy are something that everyone needs to be aware of. It is nice to have something that directs this issue at young men as well as young women. Many books direct this issue primarily at women because they are statistically at greater risk but the realization is that both genders are affected. Young men need to have this awareness too and to have a clearer concept of what dating should be. I like this book because it outlines many of the misconceptions that people have in dating practices. There are so many confusing aspects in dating relationships that people don’t even recognize that can lead to sexual misconduct. This book helps illustrate some of those aspects. May I Kiss You? can benefit all of us. As an educator in the community on sexual assault issues, I have found it to be a useful resource for myself both personally and professionally.
- Susan Kouns, Rape Victim Services, Pathways Inc.
Given the changing nature of dating relationships over the past several decades, Mike’s book provides a much-needed message for today’s society. Everyone who reads this book, from parents to students to administrators and others, will benefit from this refreshing look at the age old topic of relationships. I highly recommend this book, and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Mike’s next book!!
- David Dial, Residential Life, Louisiana State University
Domitrz simplifies the confusion of the dating process by urging readers to openly communicate their wants and needs. He empowers both males and females to transcend stereotypical gender roles and embrace a relationship that is free from sexual pressure and misunderstandings.”
- Theresa Asmus, Counselor, Rape Crisis Service of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region, New York
The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized.
- Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault
The book is unique because it addresses an important issue in an honest, down to earth fashion. The tone is one of concern and reading the book feels like a conversation with Mike. This easy to read book presents a wealth of information to teens and adults alike. Its light approach to a serious subject is very comprehensive and much needed in the world of dating and exploring relationships.
- Suzanne Trummer, ATODA Coordinator, Watertown School District
The book focuses all of us to take a look at ourselves, our actions, and the ability that we all have to promote change!
- Laura Pennimpede, Rape Crisis Community Educator, Victim Assistance Services
Today, someone was giving away free copies of this book. Always interested in reading material, and always curious about relationship issues, I picked it up and read it…
A lot of the stuff I already knew and understood (or at least thought I did). Other parts were things I’d sorta thought about, but never really sat down and analyzed. Others I just didn’t think about, period.
While reading the book I realized that I’d been treating my last would-be boyfriend badly. I never thought of it as assault, but there were still times when I acted in a relatively intimate manner… and had no idea whether he wanted it or not. I knew he was attracted to me. But I didn’t know if he was comfortable with what I wanted to do. And to be honest, I was so drunk with wanting to be intimate that I was quite willing to risk doing something he didn’t feel ready for. And besides, I was the girl. He could always turn me down, right?
I feel terrible for it now. Even before reading this book I felt badly about it, but now I know how to be aware of that ‘drunkenness’ when I feel it, and how to force it back and remind myself to be respectful of him. After all, it’s not his body that I’m really attracted to, it’s his own personness. His unique soul. How can I disrespect him by only worrying about what “I” want?
I’m glad that I didn’t go any further than I did. And I know there were times when he wanted to do things, but wasn’t comfortable enough to try them – or was worried about how I would feel about them, then or later, and kept himself from doing things he thought were disrespectful. I’m so glad for that. And now I think I can learn to be as strong as he has been.
This book has helped me a lot, even if it’s so simple in what it’s saying. I’m going to pass it around to people I know, even if I think they already know the lesson, just to help remind them what they believe and why. Sometimes reading a book like this can help strengthen your own values.
Anyway.. just wanted to say, thanks for writing this, Mr. Domitrz. And thanks, whoever it was who was giving away the books. At least one person has learned something from them.
- Robin, a college student in Texas
